Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Day 8 - #Trust30 writing challenge

There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Five Years by Corbett Barr

What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

Five years ago I was pushing 40 and miserable.  I weighed about 270lbs and couldn't stand the thought of spending the rest of my life with me.  Here is what I would say, but she wont hear the words.  

"I know you're miserable and that you hate your life.  I know that you trudge along and put up a good front, but you are wishing you were someone else.  You have to know that you are loved deeply by your family and friends.  They think that you are a patient and loving mother and doting wife, but you don't see yourself that way.  You can be those things.  You can be happy and healthy, you just have to do some work first.  You need to heal your Spirit.  You need to unchain your Spirit.  It is being held tightly in a hidden place within you and she needs to shine.

You don't think that you deserve to be happy, but everyone deserves happiness.  Everyone deserves to live their life in Joy.  You deserve all these loving children that you have.  You deserve this wonderful man who you say saved your life.  Your life has value.  Your happiness is your choice, though.  You could stop blaming everyone and everything for your miserable life and just choose today as the day that you take back control.  You decide.  

You can walk away from the inner bully that you live with.  Just show her the door.  She'll go away, but you have to ask her to go and you have to mean it.  You have a bright and shiny Spirit and you deserve to get to know her.  I love you."

I'm having a hard time with the second part of this prompt.  I have no idea who I'm going to be in 5 years.  As far as I'm concerned, I'll be speaking to the person I am right now.  Yes, I'll have some more life experiences, and I hope that I will be much wiser.  So I struggle with what I would want to say other than,

"Stay true to who you are and keep showing others that a bright and shiny life is possible.  Keep on the path and live joyfully and loudly.  Keep loving with your heart wide open.  Most of all, though, Keep it Shiny!!"

Just my thoughts.

This has been day #8 of the #Trust30 writing challenge. #Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. You can see the details here.

1 comment:

LauraX said...

so powerful...what a healing gift you have given to that part of yourself who was filled with such deep pain....beautiful to read and know that you are growing!