Friday, June 10, 2011

Day 11 - #Trust30 writing challenge

Imitation is Suicide. Insist on yourself; never imitate. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Divine Idea by Fabian Kruse

Write down in which areas of your life you have to overcome these suicidal tendencies of imitation, and how you can transform them into a newborn you – one that doesn’t hide its uniqueness, but thrives on it. There is a “divine idea which each of us represents” – which is yours?

I am a recovering imitator.  I can take on someone else's beliefs and behaviors with the blink of an eye.  I suppose we all can to some extent, but I have made many important life decisions based on the fact that somebody I knew (and was very fond of) did the same thing.  It can be easier to just do what someone else does.  Its easier to let them do all the research and soul searching than it is for me to weigh the pros and cons and actually let my intuition lead me.  That just takes too much work.  

There is no 12 step program for compulsive imitators, so thankfully I have been able to walk away from being the imitator all on my own.  I have been able to be 'like' me.  With the exception of one area.

Homeschooling.  I have an incredibly hard time with just letting myself homeschool the Littles in the manner that resonates best with our family.  I still don't give people a straight answer when they ask me how I manage to homeschool the kids.  So I come up with a description of how other people I know homeschool and pass it off as how we do it.

That's not exactly imitating though is it?  That's more of a lie.  Because I don't actually imitate the actions of how others homeschool. I imitate the philosophy.  I imply that we are ecclectic, relaxed homeschoolers, when in fact we are unschoolers through and through.  Sometimes I even talk about curriculum with people.  *Gasp*  I almost convince myself that I should have a curriculum for the kids.  I almost convince myself that I should be forcing them to sit down and read the classics and then make them write book reports and take tests.  

But you see, I can recognize when I'm being an imitator now.  I can see that to do those things would go against everything that I believe in.  My homeschooling is so far from mainstream that I keep it a secret from most.  Because I don't want to subject myself to the questions.  I don't want to have to defend the choices that my family makes.  I don't want to have to convince someone who doesn't understand that I'm not guilty of educational neglect.

So the jury is out.  Is this imitating or is this just avoiding conflict.  Hmm....I'm not exactly sure, but I am sure of one thing.  I am sure that I can choose to live my life in the manner that resonates best with me.  I can choose to raise my children in the manner that I feel benefits them as the unique individuals that were born to be.

If I want my children to grow into the kind of adult that doesn't suffer from these suicidal tendencies of imitation, then I better not do it myself.  I better stand tall and share the whole me.  What you see has to be what you get.  Their success in living a joyful, truthful life depends on it.

Just my thoughts.

This has been day #11 of the #Trust30 writing challenge. #Trust30 is an online initiative and 30-day writing challenge that encourages you to look within and trust yourself. Use this as an opportunity to reflect on your now, and to create direction for your future. 30 prompts from inspiring thought-leaders will guide you on your writing journey. You can see the details here.

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