Sunday, October 31, 2010

A new chapter begins

I'm straying from my usual Sunday Shine post today because something occured yesterday that has changed my life forever.  The story of my life has taken a twist and as I write this new chapter I am filled with wonder and anticipation.  The title of this next chapter will be "Grandmother".  Yesterday, October 30, 2010, my beautiful daughter-in-law brought a shining baby boy into this world.  Thus the next chapter in my life began. 

As I held this tiny wonder I was filled with so much Love.  My thoughts kept going back to "Can I be a grandmother?  Can I have even more Love to extend to this miracle I am holding in my arms?  Can I be a mother to young children, tweens and adults and still have room to be a grandmother?"  My mind was swirling, but I heard the soft voice of Spirit tell me "Just be here.  Just be in this moment and you will be everything that you need to be right now."  So I eased into the moment.  I let myself stare in this little wonder's eyes and see all the Love that he has brought into this world. 

This tiny little man has changed so many lives.  My son and his wife begin their chapter on parenting and I am sure they will be wonderful.  They are a very young couple, yet they have an incredible strength that most young people don't possess at 17 & 18.  Yes, they will struggle, but they will find their way as parents.  They will be just the parents that they are meant to be.  I am so proud of them.  They did a phenomenal job yesterday.  I hope that they realize how strong they are.  I hope they can take that inner strength with them through this chapter of their lives.

So I say welcome to the world, Little Wonder.  I say welcome to parenthood to Not-so-Little #2 and his beautiful bride.  And I step into the world of Grandparenting with nervous anticipation, hoping that I will have the strength to be the best Grandmother that I can be.

Just my thoughts.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Shining Life Healing

My stomach if full of butterflies today. I have decided to take a step toward making a dream come true. My dream of reaching out to others and offering my services of Reiki, to be exact. I was going to launch this when my website was completed, but I just felt like I needed to do something while the website is being developed. So Shining Life Healing has entered the world today by way of Facebook. Yup, I just started a simple Facebook page. Its a small step, and I feel like I don't know what the heck I'm doing, but it also feels incredibly empowering. I'm excited and nervous all wound up together. Hence the butterflies.

It’s pretty bare bones right now, but its movement forward. I need to keep moving forward. I get stuck pretty easily. I could blame my stuckness on other people or circumstances, but the truth is, that I get stuck because of Fear. My beautiful friend (who is helping me develop my website) had a beautiful baby a month earlier than she had anticipated. Fear jumped in and said, “Sweet! Now we can just sit back and wait till she’s ready. We don’t need to do anything until then.” Fortunately my Spirit is bigger and stronger than Fear. My Spirit kicked Fear’s ass. Right. out. the. door! My Spirit gently led me to today. She gave me the courage to just take a step. Getting unstuck never felt so good.

I can't wait for the reveal of my website, its going to be wonderful. I might have put the horse before the cart, but I'm just really ready to share the gift of healing. I have been on an incredible healing journey and all I really want is to make sure others have the same opportunities that I have had.

I'm still working out the details. I'm still healing from a bulging lumbar disk and can't get around at the level that I need to to do a full hands-on Reiki treatment. I can do distance Reiki, I can continue to get a logo developed, I can continue my Reiki III training and I can put the word out that healing can happen for anyone.

Fear has left the building, but its hanging out on the other side of the door. So I will stick close to my Spirit. The Spirit is a warm, comforting presence on this cold, blistery day in Minnesota. I'm excited to see where Shining Life Healing goes.

Just my thoughts.

You can find the Shining Life Healing Facebook page here.

If you have any questions or are at all interested in a Reiki healing email me at shinyjill (at) gmail (dot) com. I would love to answer any questions you have. Keep it shiny!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Sunday Shine: Peace

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”

~ Peace Pilgrim

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Teach your children well

So lately I've been struggling with severe spasms in my lower back and hip.  It has knocked me off my feet.  I spent most of last week in bed with a heating pad, getting up only to get my Littles to school and back again.  This week I went to a chiropractor and feel a bit better.  Still in pain, but manageable. 

Now that I feel better I also feel like I need to deal with the mess that my house has become.  Don't get me wrong, my house is usually somewhat of a mess.  Housekeeping has never been a strong suit of mine.  However, even I am uncomfortable with the level of clutter and chaos here.  I have a mountain of laundry to do, dishes piling up, floors that need to be swept and vacuumed, and groceries that need to be bought. 

Wait a minute.  I just described the condition that my home is in 90% of the time. (I told you housekeeping was not my strong suit.)  The difference now is that I can't do the work that needs to be done.  On an average day I can decide whether or not that today is going to be the day that I get things taken care of.  Today I can't do it even though it really needs to be done.

I know what you're thinking.  (I always know what you're thinking.) You're thinking, "Jeez lady, why is your house such a mess when you have a ton of Littles in the house and a Mr. Man?"  Well, let me tell you why.  Because I (and Mr. Man) have failed to involve our Littles with daily upkeep of the home.  There! I said it!  It is my our fault.

Did it take me getting injured to realize this? No.  It is something that I have been aware of and struggled with for a very long time.  The Littles do each have a job that they are responsible for, and they do it.  Most of the time. When I ask them to help do other things, however, I am usually met with resistance.

I know that young kids resisting with helping out is not all that uncommon, but I feel like they are getting to an age where it shouldn't be that hard to just be helpful.  I find myself getting frustrated and angry with them when they won't willingly help me with things.  Am I asking too much?

My answer to that is yes.  Yes I am asking too much because I am expecting them to be something they are not.  They have not had the opportunity to learn how to be helpful, because I we have not allowed them to be helpful.  There have been so many times that I have turned help away from a Little because I was sure they would not do it the 'right' way.  There have been so many times when I would allow them to help only to stop them so that I could get it done quicker.

So here I sit lay needing them to step up and help and they aren't doing it.  They are doing their own thing, which is important for them to do. is also important to be part of a family unit.  Being a part of a family unit means helping each other out.  It means stopping what your doing and getting the work done that needs to be done.

I'm not talking about taking care of my messes.  I'm talking about taking care of their own messes.  Picking up their own things, doing their own dishes, folding and putting away their own clothes and even doing their own laundry if they are old enough.  I'm talking about know how to sweep a floor or clean a countertop or even, heaven forbid, clean a toilet.

For so long it has been laid upon me, by me, that I need to take care of everything around the house.  Which is probably why I suck at it.  Who willingly wants to be in complete charge of a household with 6 children and a Mr. Man?  I didn't.  I still don't. 

I only have 4 Littles that I need to worry about now.  My oldest son and his wife are living here, but they are in the basement and they take care of themselves.  They don't leave messes for me to pick up.  If I asked my #1 or #2 Littles to help me out, I think they would do it.  I hope they would do it because they love me and don't want me to have to do things that cause me pain.  I wouldn't want them to help out simply because if they don't I will be mad at them.  I have had a tendancy in the past to react angrily when a plea for help has been ignored.

So things aren't getting done around my house.  1) Because I'm writing this blog post.  2) Because my back can only take so much before I need to take a break.  3) Because I'm patiently teaching my Littles a lesson on being part of a family unit.

That #3 reason is a biggie.  It is important and it needs to be done right.  Slowly, without judgement, shame or guilt.  They need to see that being helpful and part of a family is a beautiful thing.  That doing for others is one of the quickest ways to live their lives with their hearts wide open.  Ready to give and receive.  It is a lesson that my Not-so-Littles may have missed out on in their childhoods.  And for that I am sorry.

I'm not holding on to guilt about the way I have parented my Littles.  I we did the best that we knew how at the time.  We all do the best that we know at any given time.  I really believe that to be true.  At this time in my life I feel like things need to be different.  There needs to be a shift in my household.  A shift that will meet the needs of the family as a unit, not just the individuals living in it.  There is a balance that can be found.

Feel free to share with me any ways that you have guided your families to work together as a unit.  Any thoughts that you may have about children doing household chores are welcome.

Just my thoughts.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sunday Shine: Joy!!!

“Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.”

~ Mother Teresa of Calcutta

My wish for you is a day filled with joy.  A chance to renew and replenish your soul is a gift that I hope you can give yourself today and everyday.
Much Love to you.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Pure Love

This post was hard to write.  I think I started it over about a gazillion times. I'm feeling some hesitation about posting this because I'm not a writer. I may write, but I'm no writer. I often feel like I'm not getting across what I want to say or that I'm going to offend someone. But I am posting this because I know that for me to keep these thoughts to myself doesn't feel right. Maybe someone out there needs to read these words, or maybe I just need to get them out so that I can continue on this amazing healing journey that I am on.

I have recently been through an extremely powerful and life-changing event.  To most people it would seem like simply a beautiful event, but to me it was 'knock my socks off' amazing.

On Monday of this week I had the honor of being present at a dear friends home birth.  All of my Littles' births were in a hospital.  I was also present at another friends birth at a hospital a few years ago, which was also a beautiful experience.  I mean, lets admit it, any birth is a beautiful thing.

But this one was different.  This birth experience felt like it was going to be powerful for all who were there.  I can't speak for the others present, but for me it turned out to be truely life-changing.

The energy in that home was intense.  I could feel it in my hands, in my feet and in the top of my head.  To be honest I can still feel it. Tingling of the hands is common for me since I started doing Reiki, but this whole body sensation is new to me.  
I can't begin to express in words how proud I am of my dear freind and how honored I am to know such a strong and courageous woman.  I truly believe that anytime a woman goes through any kind of birth they are a hero.  They are doing something that only they can do.  All of the husbands and doulas and midwives and nurses and doctors and support people are simply there to help.  Those mamas are there to do the hard work.

I watched this dear friend transform from fearful and uncertain to courageous and empowered.  I looked into her eyes and said, "You can do this.  You ARE doing this." and she nodded.  The fear and the uncertainty had faded away because of all the support she had from her husband, the midwives and her friends.  Through her hard work and determination a beautiful baby girl was born.  As soon as that precious little mermaid made her way into this world the whole room filled with such an overwhelming energy of Pure Love.  I know I'm not the only one who felt it, but it was something I had never experienced before.  I know what you're thinking, "But, Jill, you had SIX babies! How can you say you've never felt that before?"  I'll get to that.

I left her home a few hours later and, like I said, I'm still feeling the effects of that monumental event.  I am sure that I have been witness to the perfect home birth.  And by the tears of joy that mama and daddy shed, I think they thought it was pretty perfect as well.

So here's the life-changing part.  Fast forward to today.  Three days later.  I'm still feeling giddy and tingly and just generally loopy.  Kinda like I've got a good buzz on, but I haven't been drinking.  I ended up straining my hip and leg, while helping during the birth.  I was having a hard time with the pain, but hadn't taken time to take care of myself.  In other words, the Reiki practitioner wasn't practicing on herself. 

Wednesday, I decided to take the time and do a Reiki healing on myself.  I just wanted to lessen the pain, but what I got was so much more.  What I got was a total healing of the body, mind and spirit.  I hesitate to explain how this happened, because I know that some people just don't connect with Reiki.  So I'm going to just say that through the healing process I was able to reconcile the emotional pain that I experienced with each of my births.

I was able to feel this Pure Love that existed at each of my Littles' births, that I could not feel at the time of their births.  I was in a different place back then.  I was a guarded and insecure woman.  I kept Love to myself.  Only to dole it out at certain times.  I definitely felt love for all of the precious souls that I gave birth to, but it was not the type of love that I feel today.  It had to get through a wall that I had built up in my heart.  This wall has slowly been crumbling over the last few years.  I don't keep love to myself, but I also didn't share it as freely as it is meant to be shared.  Today that thin veil has been removed.  This Pure Love that I felt the moment that precious baby made her appearance, I still feel today. 

It was there when all of my Littles were born.  It is my belief that it is there when any new life is born.  Whether is be human, animal or plant it doesn't matter.  They all deliver this Pure Love into the world.  I brought it when I was born, but I misplaced mine for a long time.  As I slowly began my healing journey, I found bits and pieces of it.  I feel today that I have fully recovered this Pure Love that I brought into this world.

What a beautiful world this would be if we could all remember that we are Pure Love.  That there lies inside of us this Divine Light and from that Light comes Love.  You don't have to create a new life to spread that Love.  You just have to share what you already have inside of you.

Just my thoughts.


Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sunday Shine: Look to the stars

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” 
~Eskimo proverb

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sunday Shine: Happy, joyous & free

Let us all be happy, joyous and free. Let us all be the Light beings that we are meant to be.