Sunday, August 2, 2009

About being free and acting free

So I have been struggling with something lately. Try as I might to avoid the issue and keep it to myself, the Universe has other things in mind for me. I have been making some changes in my life lately. One of those changes is getting rid of the physical clutter that has accumulated in my home over the past decade. Yes, I said decade. There are 5 bedrooms and 3 additional rooms that are full of 'stuff'. I would not classify myself as a hoarder, but give me another 10-15 years and my home would be one of those you see on tv.

Along this same line is the body clutter that I have accumulated...again. I know that the two are related. I know that I put on weight and gather 'things' because of 1 simple fact.

I am not happy, joyous and free.

Don't get me wrong. At this time in my life I feel happier, more joyful and free than I ever have. This is why I am able to see that I have changes to make. When I lived in fear and kept my spirit captive I could not make these changes. I could see them, but they were always out of my reach.

When I look at those three words, happy, joyous and free, I always focus on happy and joyous. I tend to sweep free under the carpet. This is where I come to what the Universe has been telling me lately.

I try to post blog entries every 3 days. I don't set that in stone, but it seems like that is the longest I can go before something feels like it needs to be said. I started feeling the need to write something after only a couple of days. I felt compelled to blog about being free. Completely free. How wonderful and joyful it feels to be free from the chains that I bound myself with. The problem was that I was not sure that I would make sense and that I would sound foolish. So I didn't post anything. I had the chains out again.

I started reading some of the blogs that I regularly read and it seemed like everyone was blogging about being free and happy. Then I started seeing butterflies everywhere and read a few things that mentioned butterflies. Butterflies have always been a symbol of freedom and happiness to me. I was starting to get the message, yet I still hesitated to sit down and just write.

Today I got a phone call from a very dear friend of mine. Our conversation was about freedom. About being free from things that we are compulsive about. What being free truly looks and feels like. When I got off the phone with her I thanked my Divine Spirit for her friendship and her call.

I was able to see that I need to focus on freedom. I have not been living a truly free life. I have been avoiding this fact. I have been pretending on some level that I was where I wanted to be as far as freedom goes. I'm not. I have been acting like doing whatever I wanted was being free. It's not.

I was hiding behind joyous and happy and it was actually keeping me from freedom. I was avoiding certain responsibilities, like cooking, cleaning and taking care of my health. Joyous and happy can only bring me to free if I am fully listening to my spirit. My spirit doesn't want to be buried in clutter and excess weight. My spirit doesn't want to feel guilty because I spent too much time on the computer and not enough time connecting to the Littles and Mr. Man. My spirit wants me to be free not act free.

I have heard the message that this Universe has delivered to me through other people. I can not be free if I am not fully and completely letting my Divine Light shine. If I am not free, I am not truly joyous or happy. I am so grateful for my dear friend and her wise words that she shared with me. I wish I could personally thank all of the bloggers that were compelled to blog on happiness and freedom these last few days. My blog roll is quite extensive, and I'm sure most of those people don't even read my blog, so I won't mention anyone, but I believe that you will know who you are.

I am not going to avoid freedom any longer. I am going to embrace all of me so that freedom can shine through me. I am going to reach out to others who struggle to be free and try to be a beacon of hope for them. If I can come out of the darkness that I lived in just 6 months ago, I hope that others can also.

Let's all be happy, joyous and free. Let's all be the Light beings that we are meant to be.

Just my thoughts.


septembermom said...

You are all about light out here in the blogosphere!! I think focusing on freedom is a great goal. Some days I get caught feeling like I'm trapped. I don't want to let that feeling rule my day. Thank you for the gift of your posts. Your words and insights speak to me on so many levels.

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord said...

I can relate to this, and last year, didn't feel very free. At other times in my life I've felt absolutely imprisoned quite honestly. Always by my own hand, of course, so ugh... I can mildly relate to what you're dealing with.

Something that has worked wonders for me whenever I want to make a change is setting my intention. If I set an intention and then let it go, believing that it must be fulfilled (because that's how our great universe works), then sure enough, it's fulfilled. Lately I've learned to add the word "grace" to my intentions so that the powers that be understand I'm not looking for major unrest to get what I desire. Much the opposite!

I wish you continued love, joy and lightness as you transform into your most authentic, free self.

mermaid said...

I am glad that you are aware of what you need. It is so easy to know what you need and then just ignore it. May you be free!

Jan said...

What a beautiful, honest post that just welcomes in the winds of freedom. Because you now notice the difference, Jill, I believe you will access your freedom. Your intent and passion are clear for being all that you naturally are. This journey, as you know, is not about being something or someone we think we should be, and certainly not striving for, even searching for it, but sinking down into our depths and embracing our innate peace, love, joy, and FREEDOM to be. It's always there--as is your inner wisdom, which is you demonstrate so well in your post.

I just know that in the days, weeks, months ahead you will let go and breathe so much more easily. Freedom will be yours...

I bow to you, dear one, and celebrate this new leg of your journey. Blessings all around...

Nina P. said...

I love your thoughts and wisdom on Freedom. Taking physical action, getting rid of clutter etc... I like that, as it somehow also helps to cleanse our spirit as well. I too understand this ,and well,... you've opened my eyes to see I have my own "house cleaning" to do. Freedom is needed to fully embrace Love, Joy and Happiness. I thank you for sharing your insights and feelings... I will go on my journey a little Lighter and a little more Free..... You are a wonderful soul. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with us and allowing us to walk with you along your path. Love and Light, Nina P.

Zeenat{Positive Provocations} said...

This post of yours brought tears to my eyes. I have felt like that chains are around me so many times...but as you said i wasn't ready to admit it to myself. I was lying to myself. I still go in and out of that phase...but now i have come to understand my rough spots and am now happily working on them. But admitting to yourself is the hardest part. You doing that makes you the bravest and most honest person i know.
You know the reason i love your cause its so honest and so real. Keep sharing your free spirit with us. God Knows we all need it.
Lots of love.