Friday, August 28, 2009

I do it because I can

The countdown continues. I have two days left. Two days to finish getting my home in order for a party. The last time we had a party in our home was October 2008. I used to hate having to invite people over. It meant that I would be scrambling at the last minute to get everything done on time. I always made things difficult by waiting till the last minute to even begin to clean and organize. I would THINK about starting months in advance. Then a few weeks ahead I would still be thinking about starting. Finally a couple days before the party I would become a crazy woman. Madly dashing about, barking orders at everyone. Pretty much making life miserable for myself and all those in my path. The day before the party I would clean the kitchen, the bathroom and the living room.

Here's what cleaning looked like. I would put all the piles of things in bins and baskets and pile them in the hallway. Then I would dust, vacuum and scrub. The day of the party all of those bins/baskets would go into my bedroom and get piled on the bed. My bedroom door would be shut and the steps to the basement would be blocked off so no one could enter. I would breath a huge sigh of relief and enjoy my nice clean, clutter free home. Then every one would go home and I would have to drag everything back out. So I had a nice clean home for about 3 hours.

What a change this time. Today there are no boxes, bins or baskets to haul into my bedroom. The basement will be accessible for all the nieces and nephews to play in. My bedroom door will not have to be closed. I have only a few tasks to complete over the next 2 days. My to-do list is not overwhelming to me. What a change indeed.

I was thinking last evening about where I got the strength to do all of the decluttering that I have. Why was I able to accomplish so much in just under 2 weeks time? It's not like I've never tried this before. Mr. Man reminded me the other day that the last time I attempted to do this type of decluttering I had a bit of nervous breakdown. He recalled how little #2, who was about 9 at the time, had called him at work to tell him that mommy was crying and wouldn't stop. Of course, Mr. Man rushed right home to find me curled up in a ball huddled in the living room sobbing. That was the last time I seriously tried to clear away the mess.

Here's my thought on why I can do today what I have never been able to do in the past. It's actually quite simple. Because I can. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I could have done it at anytime, but that is not true. I couldn't do any of this in the past. I wanted to. I dreamed about it. I couldn't do it because I didn't believe in my heart and soul that it could be done. I could say that I wanted to do it, but until I truly believed it, it was an unattainable dream. I couldn't believe it because I was never to allow myself to do anything that my spirit truly wanted to do. I was a prisoner. Anytime I would come close to being able to accomplish this kind of task, that bully that used to reside in my heart would slap me back down. My spirit needed to be free.

Today my spirit is free. I allow myself to do anything that my spirit longs to do. I lovingly embrace my spirit. It is this embrace that has helped me to accomplish things in my life that I have never been able to do. In all areas of my life. My spirit has guided me out of depression and addiction. It has helped me create more loving relationships with my family and friends. My spirit is showing me the way to my truest self. Showing me what I truly want my life to look and feel like. So far I really like what I see. I really like how I feel. Yes, I have days when I am feeling down or cranky. I am human after all. Those days are few in number. Since starting this decluttering I feel almost giddy. My home has a very different energy to it now. My family seems happier also. I have received so much support from my family and friends. Both in real life and here on this blog. I am able to hear and appreciate all of this support today.

Before I go I just wanted to give you an idea of what I have accomplished in the last 11 days. Besides the 54 boxes/bags of items decluttered, I have crossed off 22 out of the 30 tasks on my master to-do list. I have done all of this because I CAN.

Is there anything that you can do today that you have never been able to do before?

Just my thoughts.


septembermom said...

Your spirit must be soaring today! What an amazing task to accomplish. Your inspiration and positive attitude will motivate many of us out there too. I'm working on not letting my emotions rule my day. As I get older, I can tell that I handle confrontation and stress much better. Hugs to you my friend and continued success on your journey.

Stark Raving Zen said...

I started my book last night, because I can... :)

Tess The Bold Life said...

Wow you go girl! The first part about all in bedroom used to be me as well. Are you sure we aren't related? Now its my office that's a mess. I need to set myself free completely like you. Thanks for sharing and have a fun filled party!

mermaid said...

You go Sister! What an amazing story of faith, determination, and compassion. It appears as if you removed your own roadblocks. I hope you continue to clear them.

I'm able to let go a little more:)

Zeenat said...

You, my dear JIll are an inspiration to us all. I just get all happy reading the number of boxes you have managed to get out. Your inner beauty just shines through Shiny Mama.
Lots of love.

shiny mamaof6 said...

Septembermom - My spirit is flying. I'm pretty much up in the clouds. The support from people like you keeps me lifted up. Thank you.

Kristy - Yeah!!! I'm so happy for this exciting journey that you are embarking on. It is a true inspiration.

Tess - Thank you for your support. I am enjoying this new found freedom. I still have a lot of work to do. In the past I would have quit by now. Today I continue because this freedom is so sweet.

Mermaid - Those roadblocks do seem to have been pushed aside. It has been easy with all of the support here. I am so proud of you for being able to let go. Even if it is just a little bit at a time.

Zeenat - Thank you so much for your kind words. I continue to shine because I know that I have your support.

Annie said...

What an inspiration this is. I just started to declutter and it feels so good, I know I won't stop :-).
I have been seeing you around on blogs I read and thought I would come over and check out your blog.

shiny mamaof6 said...

Annie - I'm so glad you stopped by and left a comment. Good luck with your decluttering. It's good to know that others are letting go of the things that are holding us down.