Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Little #6 turns 4 and a bit of gratitude




I took the day off of decluttering today because it was Little #6's birthday. I can hardly believe that it has been 4 years since this little angel came into the world. Little #6 (Ava) had a rough start in life. She struggled with failure to thrive and cried almost non-stop for almost a year. She developed a bond to me that caused her great fear around strangers, even as young as 1 month of age. Mr. Man even had to wait till she was almost 8 months old before she would let him tend to her without tears. It was hard on her and her parents. I am sure that her siblings didn't enjoy it either.

Today she is a strong, independent little girl. She definitely struggles with the "Little Princess syndrome". She has also been a bit more attached to me then I have wanted at times. She is my oldest nursling. Yes, I said it. She is still nursing. Not as much as she usually does, but she still does in the evening. I have struggled with this for a number of months now. I have felt as if I were ready to be done, but I knew that she was not. So I think we have hit a good compromise. She still gets her "milkies" once a day, and I don't feel touched out most of the day. Yes, I can't wait for the day she decides that she's done. Completely done. However, I also know that she is the end of the line. There will be no more Littles. So I cherish this special bond we have and know that she is strong and independent because I have honored her need for this attachment.

Happy birthday my littlest angel.

Just my thoughts.

I would like to give an extra big thank you to all of you who have reached out to me with your kind words these last couple of days. I have had a few people ask me if there is anything that they can do to support me. Believe me, just asking me that question is enough support to carry me through the task at hand. There are a couple of things that I thought of when I tried to think of the kind of support I need. They are simple. Just think of me and envision me succeeding in this journey. Visualize me shining and free. Living in a peaceful, simplified home with my beautiful family. The other thing I thought of was this. If there is anything that I say or experience here that impacts you in some way, please share that with me and with others. Spread the word that we don't have to be prisoners in our own homes. We don't have to live our lives fearful that someone will see our cluttered homes and judge us. We don't have to judge ourselves either. We can be free spirited beings. So tonight I sit in gratitude for all the well wishes and "You go, girl" comments. I'm definitely going.

4 comments:

Caroline said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet angel...amazing how fast time goes by.

Jan said...

Birthday blessings to all of you. What a joy our children are. Savor and enjoy for the day WILL come when they will no longer be at your breast. Mine are now 19-27 and I can hardly believe it. I cherish their beautiful spirits...

And may you continue to embrace yourself with lovingkindness, Jill. :-) Believe, breathe, and be well...

Meagneato said...

Visualizing you shining and free...
Visualizing me shining and free...
I am not a prisoner in my home.
Love these thoughts. :)

Happy Birthday Ava!

mamaof6 said...

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I had a hard time convincing Ava that her birthday was actually over. She didn't want to let go.

Meagan - Your comment was very touching. I hope that you can shine as brightly as you visualize and that you are not a prisoner in your own home.