Sunday, January 31, 2010

I open. I focus. I desire. I flower

The 28-day meditation challenge that I took part in came to a close a couple days ago. I find myself very much surprised that I actually made it all the way to the end of the challenge. I don't have the best track record for starting something and sticking with it for an extended period of time, so 28 days is phenominal.

I have to admit that most of those days I really struggled to quiet my mind. I struggled to find a meditation that made my spirit say, "Yes, this is what meditation should look and feel like to you."

When I began using my blog as part of my meditation time, I thought I had found "the way". It felt very freeing to just ramble on about whatever thoughts were cluttering up my mind. I would come away from each post feeling clearer and more peaceful. At least at first.

After about 6 posts, I stopped looking forward to my quiet time. I started getting out of bed and feeling a slight dread come upon me. It was like I started to feel like I was becoming a nusiance...to myself. Like I was forcing myself to come up with something to say. I was losing clarity and peace.

I didn't give up. I continued on with the challenge and I didn't get discouraged. I didn't convince myself that I would never get it right. There was no question about whether or not I would ever get it. I had the patience to wait it out and my patience paid off.

On the 27th day of the challenge I tried a meditation that I received from someone in the Twitterverse. This person probably didn't realize it, but she guided me to the perfect mantra for me and the perfect meditation practice was created. I was finally able to quiet my wild mind, I was finally able to meditate for a full 30 minutes without falling asleep or losing focus. I felt connected to my spirit and to the Divine. All because of a simple mantra and the healing power that those words have over me.

I open. I focus. I desire. I flower.

That is my mantra. Will it always be my mantra. Maybe. Maybe not. It is for now, and that is all I need. When I say those words, my heart opens, I feel peace and clarity, and I feel the power of my life force. I feel safe. These words have played a part in healing me physically as well as spiritually. I am very grateful for the wisdom that this woman shared with me and I hope that someday I may be able to inspire someone in the same manner. Thank you all for following me on this meditation journey. It truly pays to be patient and wait.

Do you have a mantra that you would like to share here. Please do. Words are healing, and someone may need to borrow yours for awhile.

 
Just my thoughts.

10 comments:

Stark Raving Zen said...

I'm glad you got through it, Jill. A 30 minute meditation is no easy feat. It must feel SO liberating to pacify your frenetic mind for that period of time. I can only imagine, because I've never done it.

shiny mamaof6 said...

The interesting thing is that I had no intention of meditating for 30 minutes. I was just going to meditate till I felt that I was finished. Before I knew it 30 minutes had passed. It is very liberating.

~The M.F.P. said...

If you don't mind sharing, I'm going to borrow this for a bit. When I read it, it spoke to me too.

shiny mamaof6 said...

Miss M.F.P. - Those words are meant to be shared. The more who use them the more powerful they become.

jchristin said...

Jill,
I participated in Jan's challenge as well. The phrase that stuck with me and grew me tons this month is "God is breathing me". I put inflection on each word and let the meaning resonate within...so *God* is breathing me. God *is* breathing me...so on.
What I learned from this challenge is that there is no 'right way' to meditate. I love the beach and running laps, hiking in the hills, kayaking around the harbor. Each activity allows me quiet in nature to actually ask, listen, or just praise the beauty; each quiets my mind in its own way...and that is part meditation for me. Actually sitting and meditating takes it to another level.
I love your photo. I love your words. I love how this practice has opened your heart that much more. I love that we all did this together:)
Much peace.....

mermaid said...

Believing you have the strength is the first step. You do. 28 days, a heartfelt mantra, and courage.

May you go forward in peace.
May love be with you, always.

shiny mamaof6 said...

Joy - "God is breathing me" are beautiful words. Thank you for sharing them here. I also love that we we did this together and I feel like we still are.

Mermaid - Thank you for your thoughts here. Very often your comments fill me with peace and love. I'm grateful.

Robin Bradley Hansel said...

Jill! You are a featured mom on The Motherhood today on "Meet the Moms". See what happens when you open? You DO flower!

Sandi Delia said...

Jill,
This is phenomenally beautiful. I'll borrow it for a while!

I've often used the word "Still" as my mantra. As you know, I'm not much into the Bible, but the phrase "Be still and know..." always has brought a peace to my mind and heart.

Yay you for completing the challenge.

shiny mamaof6 said...

Wow! I am loving all these comments.

Since I changed my blog design, I have noticed that a few comments are posting on the previous days post. Not sure why this is.

It may be because my comments button is so small. You will find it right below the title of the post and it says "more thoughts". Please let me know if it is not there. I may need to change that again.

Thank you Sandi, Robin, Caroline, Septembermom and Allison. Love sharing a mantra practice with you all.