Monday, July 13, 2009

Too much noisy chatter

It's one of those days when my head is swirling with thoughts. I can't seem to put them in any sort of order. Here's what I've got so far.

"I hope Uncle Doug isn't suffering with a lot of pain."

"I hope that he can make his transition soon."

"But, I want Kristy to see him on Wednesday when we go."

"I hope Aaron isn't too upset that I will be gone on his 10th birthday."

"I just heard him tell his friends that I will be gone. I think he minds."

"Maybe we should go on Thursday? But, that is Kristy's birthday. I don't think she wants to spend her birthday visiting her dying uncle."

"I need to get into the basement and start going through those boxes."

"Or maybe I should get the boxes out of the hallway first."

"Or maybe I should start decluttering my bedroom."

"OMG!! We're having Al's family here in the end of August for August birthdays!! Am I going to get everything done that I want to get done?"

"Maybe I should have this party be a birthday/graduation party. I don't want Zach to be denied a graduation party simply because he got his GED instead of a traditional graduation."

"I have such a nervous stomach today. Why am I so nervous?"


Ok, I'm done sharing my thoughts now. I know why I have a nervous stomach. Because I have so much swirling around in my mind. I am focusing on the thoughts and not on what my spirit has to offer. I haven't even asked my spirit for guidance. That is why I struggle to keep a clear mind. When ever I turn away from inner guidance I become easily distracted and confused. I simply hear the noisy chatter.

So I am off to sneak out on to my deck for a few moments of peace. Because within that peace is the calm, reassuring voice of my true authentic self. The soft voice that knows exactly how to put order to all these thoughts.

Are you hearing noisy chatter or feeling the peace?

Just my thoughts.

7 comments:

septembermom said...

The noisy chatter invades my head all the time. Especially during the school year. Sometimes these to-do lists in my mind can be overwhelming.

Janice Lynne Lundy said...

Jill,
What about reframing all this chatter as simply ego messages--low level noise that wants to pull you away from your center. In this way, our thoughts are not us. They are only something we experience. Thinking about them in this way can unplug them energetically. Lots of chatter? How about reframing with an "oh, well..." That's one of my mantras and it works wonders--on most days! (LOL)

Christine said...

I think whether I'm hearing "noisy chatter" or "feeling the peace" depends on how I choose to feel at the moment. For example, I'm trying to find a new job. I either feel uptight or at peace about applying to job ads depending on how confident I am at the time. When I'm not confident, my thoughts seem more like nervous chatter.

By the way, good for Zach for passing the GED! I hated high school and got my GED instead as well. That test is VERY long--about 6-7 hours if I remember correctly! Celebrate indeed! :)

Nina said...

Turning down the “chatter” isn’t always easy. I find that doing what you did, write it down, helps. I then know I won’t forget because I wrote it all down in a list. Funny how my mind can settle a little then and I can find 5 minutes of solitude to clear my mind, meditate and listen for the answers. Talk with loved ones honestly about your fears and concerns going on with you. Children comprehend a lot more than what we give them credit for sometimes. In our family, birthdays sometimes got celebrated on a different day just because of things that were happening at the time. It can be turned around into “hey I had 2 Birthdays this year!” J Blessings to you and your family as you too have many emotional things going on. Take time for you: 10-15 minutes alone is an amazingly rejuvenating , mind clearing thing. Love and Light and Prayers to you and your family. Love and Light, Nina P.

Jill said...

Jan,
When I read your comment, I kind of got goosebumps. I sat down today to regroup and meditate and the message I received was almost word for word what you I just read from you. The ego does try to pull me away from center and to just say "oh, well" is fabulous. An easy way to get me back to my center. Very cool.

Christine,
Thank you for your comment. I think that lack of confidence and insecurity are definitely the ego trying to trip me up. That darn ego.

Jill said...

Nina,
Writing it down did help. It also surprised me that I had that much going on at once. Who knew I could talk that much? lol
My 10 year old is disappointed, but he is also very sweet and accepted that I would be gone. Or maybe it was the promise to let him stay up as late as he can that night which led to his acceptance. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Stark Raving Zen said...

I know it was just ego chatter, but I would feel blessed to spend my birthday with my dying uncle... I'm just wondering about the time factor...?