Monday, June 15, 2009

Just be.

Just be. These words have been filling my head these last few days. I love the peace and serenity that accompanies them. Just be. Sounds so light and airy. So accepting and nonjudgemental. Safe and comforting.

There have been fleeting moments in my life recently where I feel like I am living this way. Sitting on my deck in solitude, doing nothing. Just listening to the birds. Watching the trees slowly sway in the wind. Smelling the lilacs next door. Just being. I love it.

Then I step into the house. (Poof) There goes my serenity. I have not yet figured out how to 'just be' in a house full of kids, toys, laundry.....Especially when one of the kids is a 3 year old, who is practicing how to be the best drama queen ever. Of course, I have been told that the chaos and clutter that I live in is just a manifestation of the inner chaos and clutter that I live with. I believe that I will not be able to 'just be' until all the chaos and clutter are gone. The truth is that I will not be able to rid myself of the chaos and clutter until I learn to 'just be'. When I learn to accept all that is, the ability to 'just be' will be attainable.

I readily admit that I am the one standing in the way. It's not the kids or the house or the stuff taking over the house, it is I. I have to let go of old messages and beliefs. I have to be able to accept myself for what I am. The exciting thing about that, is that I also get to choose what I am. I get to decide what is to make my spirit shine. I get to use my voice and live my truth. I also believe that in order to find my voice and live my truth I need to 'just be'.

There are 2 things that I need to practice in order to live my truth. I need to be able to go within and be quiet. I also need to learn how to set boundaries with my family so that I don't start to feel like I am losing myself. These 2 things are difficult to do. That is why I say that I need to practice them. I always tell my kids that in order to get good at some things they need to practice, practice, practice. So that is what I tell myself. Practice, practice practice. Find little pockets of time that I can go within and just be. Notice when I am feeling overwhelmed with all the noise and let kids know that it is time to take a quiet break. If I'm in the middle of something and someone asks me to do something for them that I know they can do for themselves, I can let them take care of it. Practice these things enough and they will become part of who I am.

Just be. Take a deep breath and let the peace embrace you. Now go back into your life and see if you can hold on to that embrace. That is what I strive to do.

Just my thoughts.


Stark Raving Zen said...

:) I love "just being" your sister.

Caroline said...

Just beautiful. I completely understand. I have 2 kids that fight non-stop, whine, make messes that never end. Plus...laundry, cleaning, cooking, schlepping, shopping...does it ever end? So I make sure I get at least 1 hour to myself. But now school is ending and they will be around it's going to be a challenge. Thank goodness I have dogs...they are my excuse to get out of the house and be quiet.