I have recently been doing a lot of decluttering. I used to THINK about doing a lot of decluttering, but never put those thoughts into actions. As of today I have boxed up 35 boxes for donation to various charities, and there are many more boxes to come. I know that some people hear that and think that I should have had a garage sale. I mean, just think of the money I could have made. I probably would have made a decent amount of money, and we certainly could use it. The truth is, I'm just not that willing to put the work into tagging, advertising, setting up and tearing down the sale. Even the 'make me an offer sale' that requires no tagging was something that I knew that I wouldn't do. Nope, I'll take the easy way and just box it up and leave it on the end of my driveway for someone to come and pick it up.
It is a wonderful feeling to know what I can not do and not feel guilty about it. I have been guilting myself about not having a garage sale for so long. I would get all geared up to do it, I would go downstairs with boxes, tags and markers in tow, take one look at the 'colossal mess' and retreat back up the stairs. At which point the beating up would commence.
My motivation to lighten our load has always been the same. To live in a clutter-free, peaceful, beautiful home. I wanted those homes on the cover of House Beautiful magazine. I wanted an all-white living room with fresh flowers on every table. I wanted a toy room with brightly painted shelves and matching bins where every toy had a home and the toys were always in the right bin. I wanted a bedroom that looked like no one ever sleeps in it. You get the picture. Basically I was living in a fantasy world. Let's be real. I had 6 kids. If there are people in this world with 6 kids and a home like I described, I do not want to be there. I can't imagine how nerve wracking it would be for me to keep up that kind of environment with kids around.
So I have joined the world of the realistic now, I still want a clutter-free, peaceful, beautiful home. It will just look a lot different from the beauty I described before. I do NOT want an all white living room, because it would be an all brown living room in no time. I do not want to give my children nervous breakdowns because mom is anal about keeping all the toys in the right bins. I want to sleep in my bedroom. I can't tell you exactly what my living room, toy room and bedroom will look like, but I can tell you that my house will end up looking exactly the way it is meant to look. The way that feeds my spirit and the spirits of all who reside here.
The same holds true for me . I will be exactly who I am meant to be. I will allow myself to take the easy way and just be me, instead of forcing myself to be a person that I could never be to begin with.
Today, I'm down with a bad back and a nasty headache. So today, I'm going to put Declutter Jill to bed, and Slacker Jill is going to come out and do nothing for a few hours.
Who are you allowing yourself to be today? Are you embracing that person? or feeling guilty about it?
Just my thoughts.
7 comments:
You are not a slacker! Sheesh...your body needs to take it easy right now. When you feel better you can begin the de-clutter process.
Love the questions you pose at the end. An I allowing myself to be today? Not so much... I am in vacation unpacking mode and I am not enjoying this process...so much to do and I don't want to. But then the quicker I get it done, the faster it will be over with...lol.
I know I keep saying this, but your honesty is worth a million bucks. I'm not even that honest with myself sometimes in my head, let alone out loud. You make me proud to blog in the same community.
It took me awhile to accept that I had days when different parts of my personality would take over. Like you, I have a slacker version of myself (she likes to watch DVDs on her laptop and nap even when she's not tired); I have the dedicated writer version of myself who could sit at her computer typing emails or writing absolutely anything for hours on end (sometimes half the day!); the list goes on. I still need help removing the word "should" from my vocabulary when it comes to what I think I ought to be doing.
It's a process, and when I read stories from women like you I think, "We can do this! We can be who we are without apologies!"
Thanks for the inspiration!
Caroline -
I suppose you're right. I'm not a true slacker, but today I wanted to be one. I only lasted 1/2 the day before I had to get busy again. My body was also in need of rest, so I got to honor that also.
Thank you for taking time from unpacking to share your thoughts with me. I hope you were able to get it all done and now are enjoying your time at home.
Megan -
I am proud to blog along with you also.
In regards to the word 'should', maybe you want to replace it with 'could'. "I should be more honest with who I am" sounds a lot more punishing than "I could be more honest with who I am." It just has a more gentle energy attached to it. Gentle is good.
I have my slacker days, but now I just celebrate them. The me now may not be the "me" later, and that's o.k. Love your honesty and inspiring words.
I completely understand where you are coming from, having been a hoarder for most of my life.
In the last 3 years I have had to part with many of my posessions, things that I have held onto for years, things that for so long have been in the attic or in storage, packed away, longing to be loved and on display, but nowhere to put them, and finally the time came to part with them.
In many ways I feel more freedom. I have more space to move, and now living in a small house I frankly need space to move.
Love the blog, pleased I managed to stumble across it.
This post really spoke to me. I'm learning that for me, it may not be the easy way, but the most compassionate way. Guilting can make it seem like it is the easy way, but perhaps it is the kind way. Good for you for listening.
I am allowing myself to be honest today.
Oh wow...ia m all geared up after reading this to clean up my place as well. I have just one daughter and a husband who might as well be 2 kids in one when it comes to making a mess...so i get where youre coming from...A house thats lived in is just perfect for me too.
Reality aint all that bad...media is the big evil...showing us white rooms and all;)...Maybe when my kids(thst are still in the plannig stages) are all married and settled...i might just have a white living room...ohh...then there will be grandchildren to worry about...;)
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