Good times

Mr. Man & I just took the 4 youngest away for a couple of days to a waterpark nearby. It was a short stay, but it was perfect. As the parents, we had many moments of fun and silliness. We also had a few moments of frustration that comes when you have 4 wound up little people in a hotel room. What I found interesting was that I was able to recognize that they were only acting so wild because they were so excited about staying in a hotel and going to the waterpark the next day. The reason that this is interesting is because I have never been one to look for the underlying cause of obnoxious behavior in the past. What usually happened was me getting mad because my peace was being disturbed, or me feeling embarrassed by my kids high noise level. It was never about what they were dealing with, but rather what I was going through.

I also let Mr. Man be a parent. I didn't try to control what he said or did. I didn't tell him he was wrong to be grouchy the few times he was. I just sat back and watched him with his children. He had so much fun going down the water slides with the boys. I have no idea how many times they climbed up those stairs with their tube, but they were always shining so brightly. If you knew my husband you would know that he was definitely letting his hair down and just going with the flow. He didn't even want to go down the water tubes at first. It was sweet to witness his transformation into that little boy that resides in him. I am so relieved that I didn't step in the way and try to micro manage his fun as I have always done in the past. Being a control freak is hard work and I am happy that that part of me seems to have gone on an extended vacation.

I don't usually spend a lot of time rehashing past behavior these days. I really feel that the past is over and it needs to be put to rest. I look back every now and then just so I can see the progress that I have made over these last few months. My past used to loom over me like a dark cloud. It used to be a constant reminder of how sad of a life I felt I had. I stayed stuck in the past so that I would not have to look at my true self. I kept myself there because of fear. Being free of that control has truly opened my eyes and my heart to this wonderful life that I have.

This summer has been a good summer. Other than our little mini-vacation we just returned from, we haven't really done a whole lot of exciting things. Like so many others we are feeling the effects of the current economy. I have no regrets. I have had a ton of fun living in uninhibited silliness with the littles. It really feels like the first summer I have had with at least 5 of my 6 kids. I have relished this time and will be a little sad when school starts. I know that we will continue to be silly. That will not change, but I will have to compete with a schedule now. We will have to be up by a certain time and we'll have to have time to do homework. As I acknowledge this, I am once again amazed that I am at peace with it. I am not filling with resentment about having to change my schedule for the kids. I really was quite the selfish mama in the past. I say this with no negativity. I do not feel guilty about it, it is just a part of who I was.

As the end of our summer winds down I will continue to look for simple pleasures to share with my kids. My oldest child has not seen the side of me that the others have witnessed this summer. She is living a separate life right now and there is a definite distance there. We will connect again when she is done with whatever she feels she needs to do right now. I will be here for her when she comes back. I will let her learn whatever lessons she needs to learn, and if she choses to learn nothing then so be it. We will get to know each other again and there will be good times for us also. I look forward to that day.

Have you had good times this summer? Share with me. Give me some ideas of how I could close out this summer of good times.

Just my thoughts.