I hear you knocking at my door

I hear you knocking at my door. Gently tapping. Trying to coax me to open up and let you in. I sit in silence and wait for you to go.

I hear you knocking at my door. Urgently knocking. Begging me to let you in. I sit in silence and wonder if I should let you in.

I hear you knocking at my door. Pounding loudly. Screaming at me to open the door. I sit in silence. Shaken and unsure. I know what happens when the door opens. It happens every time.

You come in and get settled. You keep me a prisoner in my own home. You seduce me with false assurances of safety. You encourage me with lies, to distance myself from all those I love. You make me miserable.

Every. Time.

I hear you knocking at my door. Pounding loudly. Screaming at me to open the door. I sit in silence. Shaken yet strong.

I hear you knocking at my door. Urgently knocking. Begging me to let you in. I sit in silence. Hopeful that you will move on.

I hear you knocking at my door. Gently tapping. Trying to coax me to open up and let you in. I sit in silence as you take leave.

I sit in silence. Safe.

This time….

I dedicate this to all of you out there who have ever dealt with depression, SAD, anxiety, anger, resentment, fear or whatever that "thing" is that turns your world upside down.  May we all see the day when we can just sit in silence and wait for the knocking to stop.