Fear Cocoons

So, this picture seems very disturbing to me, but it portrays exactly what it feels like to live in a fear cocoon.  I tried watching the show Hoarders last night.  It stirred up so much emotional pain for me that I really couldn't watch much of it.  My heart went out to those people whos lives are being paraded in front of the masses.  I know that they agreed to do the show, but the pain, shame and guilt are still very obvious.

I think the reason that I got so emotionally pained by watching the show has a lot to do with my own 'hoarding' tendencies.  I am by no means living the way that they are.  I don't collect garbage, but I still have a lot of 'stuff' that I hold on to.  When I went through my decluttering back in August, I saw just how attached to stuff I was.  It was hard.  It was painful.  It was also freeing.  I didn't watch the end of the show, so I don't know if the people felt the freedom that I felt after my little bit of decluttering. 

I'm guessing that they did not feel freedom.  I'm guessing that they said they felt better, but really, they felt naked and scared and vulnerable.  People that hoard do if for a reason.  Not because they are lazy, or pigs.  Not because they learned it from their parents.  They do it for security.  They make themselves a protective cocoon of 'collections'.  They hold on to things because they don't feel they have anything else to keep them hidden.  Their lives are controlled by fear.  They turn that fear into one big cocoon.  A fear cocoon.

When my life was controlled by fear, I overate and I cluttered.  I hid behind my body and my 'stuff'.  I had my own fear cocoon.  I have released the fear, I have made my peace with food and I have released many of the personal belongings that I was hiding behind.  I still have work to do here.  I still have a lot of 'stuff' to release, but its different this time.  I'm not afraid of the task at hand.  I am not feeling vulnerable or shameful.  I have hope and love on my side this time.  I have the support of my Shining Spirit and the Divine.  That's all anyone really needs.  I know that I also have support from family and friends, but none of that support means anything, if I don't have support from within.

Before I turned Hoarders off, I reached out to them.  I sent out as much Love from my heart that I could.  I cried for them and embraced them.  I don't know if my little individual release of Love reached them, but I know that I had to do it.  For them, for me, for all those people out there that hide themselves in a fear cocoon of clutter and garbage.

I am blessed with the ability to now let go of the 'stuff' I have.  Today I plan to spend a little extra time in meditation and send that blessing out to the world.  Maybe you could help and send some strength and hope along with me. Thank you.

Just my thoughts.